There is plenty to criticize in our bungling trek toward health reform. Leaders on the right, left and at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue have sidestepped the crucial conversation of controlling the cost of care, in favor of partisan rhetoric about “death panels” and “rationing care.” Worse, the entire focus of reform has centered on spending billions of dollars on technology solutions that will only make marginal changes in the cost and quality of care Americans get.

I want to refocus the debate on what matters most: relationships. Let’s reinvest in the sitting down with, listening to, empathizing with and touching patients.

America has the most advanced healthcare system in the world. But in our haste to research, develop and invest in high-tech medicine, we have lost sight of the very basics of good doctoring. The first things we learn in medical school are: ask, listen and touch. Doctors do not do enough of this any more.

As has been made painfully clear, most doctors are rewarded for doing all manner of procedures. This is true from the earliest moments of our career . As a resident, even when faced with the most basic medical problems, I was grilled by my attending when I didn’t order the full battery of tests, or contact all the specialists available to consult on a patient. Thus, over-testing and over-treating becomes a knee-jerk response from the get go.

This is how doctors practice medicine today. Some of us do it this way because it’s how we get paid. Some of us refer our patients to specialists because we don’t have time to sit down with them ourselves. Some of us rely on tests and procedures because we’re fearful of malpractice lawsuits. And most of us have just lost sight of the most powerful tools in the doctor’s arsenal: our hands and our minds.